SHANDY WALKING

 

This is rather good, I think, from Laurence Sterne’s A Sentimental Journey (1768):

‘I was walking down that which leads from the Carousal to the Palais Royal, and observing a little boy in some distress at the side of the gutter which ran down the middle of it, I took hold of his hand and help’d him over. Upon turning up his face to look at him after, I perceived he was about forty.—Never mind, said I, some good body will do as much for me when I am ninety.’

 

Well, A Sentimental Journey is essentially a novel, so the narrator is not exactly the author, but crossing the road when he was 90 was not a problem Sterne ever had.  He died some months after A Sentimental Journey was published, aged 54.

And then, there was a piece in The London Review of Books, by Thomas Keymer, about the difficulty of pinning down the meaning of satire, and about ‘getting the wrong end of the stick.’  He writes:‘The cleverest inheritor of the phenomenon was Laurence Sterne, whose Tristram Shandy (1759-67) intersperses its narrative with explicit rebukes to imagined readers …  The work was there to be grasped or debated as the reader wished, and when one of them sent Sterne a walking stick as a gift, it was, Sterne replied, ‘in no sense more Shandaic than in that of its having more handles than one’.

I must say I’d never seen a walking stick with more than one handle, but I find they do exist, like this:

 

But that’s not the same as grasping the wrong end.  In most cases, with most walking sticks, there’s surely only one end you’d really want to grasp.

A LONG WAY TO WALK

 Will Pavia interviewed the now late Martin Amis in 2018, 

when Amis was in his late 60s, not so very long before 

his death as it turns out.

Amis said, ‘I’m more and more averse to any kind of exertion.’  And then discussing the walk to his local grocery store he said, ‘When I come around the corner and look up the street (I think) that’s a long way.’ 

I wonder if it had something to do with the cigarettes.

 

From the Smithsonian magazine

You know, sometimes I look out of my window and see old people struggling with walking sticks and Zimmer frames and occasionally Nordic poles, and I admire them enormously because they’re still out there, determined to carry on walking.  But at the same time I think, if I had that much difficulty walking, if I needed a stick or a Zimmer frame or Nordic poles I don’t think I’d ever leave the house.  No doubt time will tell.

 

WALKING WITH SKULLS

 Mortality marches on.  Each step reveals our new infirmities and takes us that much closer 

to the grave.

    But, on the bright side, my local antiques emporium has just reopened and I was able to 

buy this spiffy walking stick with a skull handle:

 

I don’t need it at the moment but no doubt I’ll grow into it

 

When I bought my stick I was well aware that Darwin had one (very slightly) similar, though his was made out of whalebone and ivory.  David Attenborough weeps.

 

But it took me longer than it should have before I recalled this 1998 self-portrait by Robert Mapplethorpe. 

 

When I next see you, remind me to tell you the story about Robert Mapplethorpe having lunch at Sardi’s in New York, and the cocaine and the screens.

And there's this, of course: